It's been a very hard day. I seldom just sit and lament on my blog, but I need therapy today.
It is our first day back after spending the night without the kids and oh my goodness are they making me pay. Alex, who is typically way too sensitive about everything anyway was particularly on edge. The thing I hate the most is not so much when he says he hates me, (although that's pretty bad) but when he is mean to his friends. I just worry all the time that somehow I'm failing him as a parent and he's taking it out on everyone around him.
Ah, motherhood guilt.
The other thing that's gnawing at me, and has been for the last 2 years, is the feeling that we need to move, and I just can't bear it. The truth is, we moved the kids back upstairs into a shared bedroom because Alex wasn't doing well downstairs (constantly in our bed)and so now we are essentially living upstairs. So the upstairs won't be big enough for us for much longer, but we don't use the downstairs enough to even justify having it. I just don't see any other way around it, but the thought of leaving this neighborhood makes me want to cry. We keep talking about Sand Hollow, but I know that it will be mostly retired people, so I'm not sure the exchange is worth it..
unless we can get some friends out there...any takers? Jake will get you a great deal, I'm sure...
Ah, me. Life.
That is all.
2 comments:
We were going to totally build out there... but the association fee was too much for us to swallow! I don't even think we would qualify for a loan with it that high!
We've been dying to move for a long time now. And if YOU have outgrown your upstairs... then WE have definitely outgrown our whole house.
But I'm okay with being here. We are taking on some pretty cool home improvment projects. And I don't necessarly LOVE my street... but I LOVE my ward. We've even discussed looking for a bigger house in the same ward. That's how much we love it.
hmmm, it would have to be a really good deal!
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