month 20

The weather is good, Alex leaves the door open, and you can put on your own shoes. That pretty much sums up month 20 for you.

We have spent the good part of the last few weeks in the out-of-doors. This is the first spring that you've been up on two feet and walking, so it's a whole new world for you. If I'd let you, you'd be outside all day riding bikes with the kids, and who can blame you? So I feel really bad when it's time for me to go inside and I have to take you with me. You really don't understand why you can't stay outside and play with the boys. Someday I'll explain to you all about DCFS and the term "negligent parenting", but until then you're just going to have to be dragged inside so Mommy can go potty.

But the truth is you've probably been spending too much time with the boys...or at least one in particular. THe other day I was whistling while doing the dishes just because, you know, I'm just happy like that, and you started shouting, "TOP!" and I was all, "top of what?" and then it occured to me...you've picked up your brother's little habit of shouting "STOP!" whenever I attempt to bring any music into our home. Aside from a little Lori Berkner every now and again, there is absolutly no tolerance for music of any kind.

But believe me when I say that you have not heard the last of my whistling.

But for every moment of "toddlerness" there are 2 moments of sweetness. (well, 1 1/2). When we walked into grandma's house yesterday you shouted, "hi!" to announce your entrance and ran to grandma to give her a hug. Then you turned up your hands, shrugged your shoulders and asked, "where's bampa?" Then you ran to grandpa to make sure he got a big hug too.

And the thing that's cracking me up this month?

The princess shoes. Oh my, how you love to clonk around the house in your princess shoes. I just love how your whole foot fits into the strap. And nothing sets off a diaper like a nice pair of pumps.

We are experiencing the multitudes of ways in which you are a toddler. For example, (and this is only one example so as to give you a cross section of your behavior) when you cry for a banana you eat exactly half or less before you lose all interest, hand the remainder to me, and walk away. Then you play for 10 minutes. Then you come back and wonder where "nana" went. Clearly this is miscommunication on my part, I realize that, but for the love we go through a lot of bananas.

And this picture sort of sums up what it's like to be you right now...

The downward-pointing pigtails, I think, add a lot to the mood here.

You want so much to be involved in everything, but you hear a lot of "no, Lily" these days. You are just at that transitional age between being dependent on mommy and wanting to do everything.

I wish you could somehow understand that your day will come. That things will get better. That you'll someday have friends that you'll be allowed to go play with. That your older brother will eventually grow out of putting tape in your hair...

And that there are worse things in life than being a little sister.